Want to make more sales from your advertising? Then you’ll want to eliminate conditional words and phrases from your ad.
Take a look at the following sentence…
This offer is strictly limited. We’re going to have to remove the special discount on Friday. To make sure you don’t miss out, please fill out the form and place your order now.
At first glance, there’s nothing wrong with this close. But let’s zoom in a little closer, and find the conditional words and phrases that weaken this call-to-action.
We’re going to…
The phrase “we’re going to,” weakens the urgency of the close by reinforcing the fact that the offer isn’t being removed immediately. Consider this more powerful version…
This offer is strictly limited. The special discount expires on Friday.
This new version removes all doubt. The special discount will go. And notice how, in the original, the special discount will be “removed.” In the new version, it’s going to “expire.”
The original makes it clear the offer is going to be removed by a human agent. In doing so, it implies it may be possible to negotiate an extension to the offer. This leaves the reader an out, removing urgency and draining power from the call-to-action.
The new version doesn’t compromise. It states the offer “will expire,” implying a natural process where negotiation is impossible. It enhances the urgency of the close, increasing the chance of a sale.
Which Friday?
The original call-to-action stated the special discount will end on Friday. But which Friday? An advertiser injects an enormous amount of power into an ad by being specific…
This offer is strictly limited. The special discount expires this Friday.
This second version removes any doubt about which Friday the advertiser is talking about. Imagine how much more powerful the call-to-action becomes, if it’s read late in the week.
Command action
A call-to-action is made more powerful when the advertiser tells the prospect what to do, rather than asks. Here are the last two sentences in the original…
To make sure you don’t miss out, please fill out the form and place your order now.
At first glance, this may seem like a powerful close. In fact, it suffers from a sudden attack of reticence. Why say “To make sure,” when the advertiser can be totally uncompromising?
The word “please” implies the advertiser is asking the prospect to act. Why ask, when the advertiser can tell? At this point in the ad, the advertiser desperately wants the prospect to order. Surely, it makes sense to go ahead and tell the prospect to do so? Here’s a more powerful version that is far less compromising…
Place your order right now. Fill out this form and click the Submit button…
The new version doesn’t bother to talk about missing out on the special discount. It’s implied by the rest of the paragraph, so why bring it up again? Doing so only forces the reader to wade through unnecessary words before the magic point where the advertiser asks for the sale.
The new version gets right to the point. It literally orders the product to buy. And then explains what he or she must do to actually place an order.
Putting it all together
Let’s bring the two parts of the call-to-action together, and see what we have…
This offer is strictly limited. The special discount will expire this Friday. Place your order right now. Fill out this form and click the Submit button…
We’ve removed many unnecessary words, ensuring the prospect can read these sentences fast. That increases the speed at which the reader gets to the point where the advertiser asks for the sale. It also makes the paragraph easier to understand.
The shorter call-to-action imparts a greater sense of urgency in and of itself. This is reinforced by the language we’re using. As a result, the call-to-action is made more demanding, less polite, and is far less compromising.
It doesn’t leave the prospect with an out. It’s clear that if he or she wants the product at the discounted rate, he or she has to act now. In isolation, the above call-to-action may seem terse. There are two reasons for this…
- You’re a polite person
- You’re reading it in isolation
The call-to-action will seem less terse, and make more sense, in its proper context. That is, when it completes a properly constructed ad that gets the prospect excited about the product on offer.
Assuming the rest of the ad achieves its goal, even something as terse as our call-to-action will seem perfectly natural to the reader. He or she will want the product, and appreciate being told how to get it as quickly as possible.
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Bottom line is “don’t be afraid to sell”. Too many people expect a product or service to sell itself. Be firm in what you want. Contrary to popular belief, there’s nothing wrong with selling.
- HF
An excellent point – especially for UK readers. Marketing is much tougher in the UK, and that tends to result in a soft-sell approach to advertising. The plain fact is, when the product is a genuine match for the target market sales come faster if you sell rather than entertain.